Authenticity

As my husband tells me (all the time) "women can't help but copy one another-that's what y'all do". He then puts up his hands in surrender when I give him the shut up/sideways evil glare. :)

But seriously, most women do copy other women. We buy magazines, watch movies, tv shows to see what other women are doing, saying, buying, wearing and to see how exactly other women are wearing their hair, what shoes & bags they own and even sit pining over the weight and size of another woman. We're then always asking each other 'how did you lose the weight?" hoping to try it out to see if we could get the same results (9 out of 10 times we don't). We ask "where did you get that...?" to then go out or google where to buy it (and it probably won't even look good as it did on the other woman).

There are even women who'll see a woman with her significant other and because he looks good with that woman, she too will want a sample of him. These women know that they should find a man of their own but it's the copycat/covet syndrome that propels them to this behavior. Everyone should take the time to find what works for them, to buy the clothes that look good on their body and realize that having something (not as a direct result of seeing it on someone else) is truly the most fulfilling.

Even listening to your own body is better for you than trying someone else's diet routine because your body will tell you how to lose weight. It will tell you what foods to eat or not eat and it will also alert you when it's time to get off your butt and exercise (achy cramping muscles, anyone?) Don't get me wrong-I believe it's perfectly normal to look to others with admiration and for inspiration-but never duplication! Copycat-Covet Syndrome (this is my own medical term) has got to stop!

Think about it-what would the world be like if we all wore the same exact clothes, bought the same things, ate all the same food, were the same size and weight, smelled the same, looked the same, wore our hair the same, talked the same, etc etc?? It would be damn boring and god-awful. Isn't it exciting to learn something new (even about yourself), see something new, try something new? Of course it is-it feels really good!

I love different styles and love seeing people with their ways, their habits, their relationships and I admire what resonates with me. I've learned that I don't want to be exactly like any particular person/persons or a carbon copy of someone else's self discovery. I want to enjoy my own life because life is too short to be living a less than authentic life.

So far I've learned the following about myself:

1. I know that wheat, sugar, and salt are not my friends. They hinder my weight loss effort. The same is not true for others in my life.

2. My dream is to travel to Europe and possibly live or retire there. No one else in my life has European aspirations (except my husband).

3. Even though I frequent a particular hair advice site (Curlynikki)-I know that the way she does her hair doesn't work for me. However, as a result of admiring her efforts I've been able to find my way to sexy gorgeous curls using the products and techniques that work for me.

4. Even though I admire many women I see, I still buy what works for me, my body type, my personality, and especially what works for my financial situation. I will not specifically buy anything that I know someone in my close proximity owns (i.e. handbags, jewelry, shoes, etc). There are so many varieties of these items out in the world that purchasing the same things would just be copying someone rather than taking the time to decide what you personally like. When we do this, it's just insecurities at the forefront saying "I want to look like, be like, & own what she has because it looks good on her". No where in that statement is there any reflection of you the individiual. That's what copying someone does-it takes YOU out of the equation.

That's why I can totally understand when some women when asked "where did you buy that?" or "what's that your wearing?" or "how did you do...?" reply-- "I'm not sure" or "I can't remember" or (my favorite) "I got it at a little boutique while on vacation" (when it could have come from JCrew). It's their non-confrontational way of saying "find what works for YOU and stop trying to bite MY style!"